scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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