Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
