Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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