Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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