Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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