Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
