A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
