i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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