I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
