i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm always down for nudity.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
