she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
