Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
