I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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