chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
