My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
