Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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