Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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