I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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