the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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