i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
