We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
