I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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