his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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