how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
ttyl tear gas
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
