so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
