Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
