Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i think my tv is drunk
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have already put on my inside pants.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize