doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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