spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
