When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
