is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
