The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
