I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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