I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
