You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
