the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
