That's intense
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
