he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
