Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
