It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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