She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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