i think my tv is drunk
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
COCAINE IS GR8
My bed smells like the plague
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
