then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
