The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
