she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
