her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
