"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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