White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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