I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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