Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
