Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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